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Date Nights!

Date Nights

If you are in a long-term relationship, do you believe in ‘date nights’? By that I mean a set date each week that you pencil in, to ensure that it happens.

Do you have boundaries, of what you can and cannot talk about on the date? I.e. children’s schedules, plumbing issues and work are all off the agenda…

Does planning a ‘date night’, take the spontaneity out of a relationship, and put a lot of pressure on you to have a good time, no matter the sort of day you have had. Or does it ensure that you set aside time for each other, and not take each other for granted?

We look at the pros & cons of Date Nights…


Uninterrupted time together as a couple is great. It gives you time to reconnect and see yourselves as partners and lovers.

It reminds you to focus on each other, and not on the humdrum of everyday life, from negotiating the demands of work, kids, mortgage, chores and more.


You might arrange a night, including baby sitting etc and then find you have had a terrible day at work and just can’t face it.

It can feel forced – that it’s essential that you have a good time and that it is romantic.

It can be tempting to put any issues that have occurred in the week off discussion until date night. Making the night more tense and full of problem solving, than of romance.

Ways to make date night work…

Take turns in choosing what to do. It doesn’t always have to be a super romantic evening, sometimes going to the cinema and just having time together is okay – it doesn’t need to always be about talking.

Decide in advance if there are any topics you would rather not discuss on your date nights.

Date night doesn’t have to take place outside of the house. A movie and a takeaway could be just as good. Perhaps agree that there are no interruptions/phone use etc for the evening, so you can really connect.

Make an effort, make it fun and make it personal – so whatever works for you as a couple is just fine.

Date Night Suggestions:

Relive your first date – especially good for an anniversary.

Do some kind of lesson – cooking, dance, language, art…

Have a spa date.

Go wine tasting (leave the car at home).

Some form of exercise – a climbing wall for instance…

Do a trip to a museum – but in the evening.

Go for afternoon tea.

Go to the zoo!